PURPOSE
E-mail.
It instantly makes communication easier but not necessarily less complicated. Sending an effective and professional e-mail takes practice and effort and is a skill for which most people have not received training. We write a lot of e-mails. Some are short, some are long some are emotional, and some are matter-of-fact, but they all have one thing in common. The purpose of every e-mail we send is to convey a message and to get some point across. As educators, communicating is the most important thing we do every day. Giving and receiving information is the crux of what makes us productive and the ability to do so well, is directly related to the proficiency with which we do our job. So with all of the importance placed on effective communication, why is there so much conflict and misunderstanding? It’s because most of us do not take the time necessary to get better at email.
It instantly makes communication easier but not necessarily less complicated. Sending an effective and professional e-mail takes practice and effort and is a skill for which most people have not received training. We write a lot of e-mails. Some are short, some are long some are emotional, and some are matter-of-fact, but they all have one thing in common. The purpose of every e-mail we send is to convey a message and to get some point across. As educators, communicating is the most important thing we do every day. Giving and receiving information is the crux of what makes us productive and the ability to do so well, is directly related to the proficiency with which we do our job. So with all of the importance placed on effective communication, why is there so much conflict and misunderstanding? It’s because most of us do not take the time necessary to get better at email.
There is hope, however. With a little practice and attention to detail, you can learn how to send a perfect e-mail in almost any situation.
IN-SERVICE
Below is an excerpt from a blog post by Sarah Wessling- who is a high school English teacher in Iowa and a 2010 National Teacher of the Year:
1. You can’t take back what you’ve written.
2. Our first impression most often comes through what and how we write.
3. Our haste can cause us to suggest a tone or meaning we didn’t intend. Educators aren’t immune to these oversights, especially as our inboxes are more and more crowded.
1. Don’t get defensive. It never fails that we’ll get the toughest emails on the days that we’re the most exhausted or have exercised the greatest patience. It can be so easy to get defensive when our practice, our grading, or our attention to students is questioned. But these are the moments that we have to be the most empathetic. A hastened response with a defensive cloud can quickly stifle a conversation and send a parent straight for a CC to the principal. Instead, we have to take a breath and put the email into context.
2. We’re teaching all the time. Yep. All the time. We’re even teaching parents when we respond to their emails or questions. We’re teaching them about the culture of our classroom, about the way we’ve seen their child learn, about the way we make deliberate instructional decisions.
3. No one is perfect. In the same way that we teachers are fully aware of our imperfections, parents will make mistakes, too. Approaching a parent with curiosity or empathy can go a long way in creating a strong partnership. This means that instead of leading with accusation, a start of thanks (I appreciate the way you’ve been following up at home), empathy (I know how important your child’s success is to you), or curiosity (I’ve been curious about how the homework process is going with “Zoe” and am anxious to hear more about it), will open lines of communication.
4. Turn these communications into opportunities. Whether you’re responding to a parent or initiating the conversation, our email communications can be incredibly powerful. Seeing even the most difficult messages as an opportunity can help us all work towards the same goal: creating a better opportunity for students to learn.
5. Use the phone, too. Sometimes the email’s tone will tell you just how frustrated the sender is, and in such cases, a phone call can be much more productive. Don’t hesitate to use it as an opportunity to listen and put the concern in context.
Here is another excerpt:
- One of the toughest responses to craft can be the ones where our decisions about the classroom and how or what we teach are being questioned. I've fielded questions ranging all the way from why I grouped students in a particular way, to why I gave homework over a break, to why our department had chosen to teach Maya Angelou. Curiosity is the key here. Sometimes the real question underlies the complaint, and we can make a lot of progress by understanding the difference
- We have to know when our instructional decisions are sound and shouldn't be changed, versus when we may have overlooked something and we have room to revise
Here is an example:
There are many things to consider when writing an email. Having the wherewithal to understand what type of response is needed to a particular situation and audience is the key to communicating effectively and thoroughly. Understanding that sending an e-mail is also a skill that needs to be practiced and reflected upon is also the key more productive communication.
IMPLEMENTATION
This month, the implementation is easy. Write an email or look at an old e-mail and then reflect on it and ask yourself if you have done the following:
- Were you too emotional
- Were you too short
- Were you defensive
- Were you professional
- Did you thank the recipient
- How was the tone of the email and would it be better to pick up the phone
Share your thoughts in the comments section and if you are bold, maybe even share an email you have written. Below are some resources I have found with tips and tricks along with the link to Sarah Westling’s post. As always, your comment is worth an hour of PD.
Thank you for reading.
This year, I have one student in particular who is really challenging everyday. I have found it necessary to e-mail home once a week to keep his parents aware of his behavior and effort, and they have responded in support, but no progress has been made with the child in the classroom. Last week, he had one amazing day, so I sent his parents the following e-mail:
ReplyDeleteHi Mrs. -------,
I just wanted to send you a quick e-mail to commend ----'s behavior over the past few days. He showed great effort and improvement in class. I hope he continues on this path towards success!
Have a great weekend,
Emily Baier
I thought a positive e-mail would inspire this child to continue working hard. One strategy I use to gain parents' trust is to try to reach out with positive information, especially when there is so much negative information. I try to put myself in their shoes and imagine being bombarded with negative e-mails. It probably deflates both them and their child, and it doesn't take too much time to send a quick e-mail to let them know when their child has done SOMETHING good and that we are paying attention. Unfortunately, this week, the child described above is already back to his old habits, and I feel that I will have to send another negative e-mail.
I agree Emily, positive emails can have a profound effect on the student and their parents. I think that when a parent sees an email from a teacher they immediately expect that something is wrong. Sending out even one positive email a week can make a difference.
ReplyDeleteAnother strategy I use when sending emails, calling or meeting parents face to face is to remind myself that this student is their child. Parents are emotionally attached and, I believe, deep down they only want what is best for their child. Sometimes parents are blinded to the reality of how their child reacts to the challenges of middle school - the actions we see everyday in our classrooms and around the school. They can get defensive or choose to disbelieve our observations.
So before I send an email, I remind myself that the concerns are from a parent about their child. I am mindful about how that emotional attachment feels to them and respond accordingly.
In the case of emails designed to address negative behaviors, "wait time" is critical - I find I need to take a few deep breaths, talk the issue over with a colleague or friend or family member, and figure out the best approach to take in the call or email. I almost never send an email immediately after an incident. Depending on the circumstances, I'll have someone I trust read my draft email and give me feedback. Susan makes a great point about reminding ourselves that this is the parent's child. And it's so true, Emily, that I am most likely not the only teacher writing home about a child with chronic behavioral issues, so including something positive is always a good idea, as is reminding the parent that we care about their child, and that an expression of that caring is holding the child accountable for their actions, as that approach will serve them best in their journey toward adulthood.
ReplyDeleteWaiting and sending positive comments and trying to put yourself in the parents' shoes are great strategies to use. Just the fact that you take the time to reflect and not shoot off a hasty, defensive email could be the difference between something you can handle yourself or something that has to reach administration. It's always a struggle to keep emotion out of it when someone is attacking your character or your ability.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Doug and find myself using wait time as a strategy for drafting that response email. I also turn to colleagues for advice and to use as a sound board. I really liked the part about "We're teaching all the time". This is a fresh perspective on the way we approach parents and really any one else we deal with professionally. The way we respond to everyone teaches them how we will respond to our students, their children, in our classroom. If we are short and defensive with the parents, we are conveying that this is also the way we respond to their children. We must work hard to be mindful and aware that all of our actions and communication are directly linked to us as professionals. This can eleviate much stress in our communication.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I try to do is send one positive email home for every negative. I also like to follow up my negative emails with positive feedback, and always try to include something positive in the orignal negative email in general. However, every time I send a negative email home, I try to send a positive one as well to a parent of a different student just to keep myself thinking about all the good things that are happening in the classroom as well.
As several have mentioned above, the power of a positive email goes a long way! I believe that if we send positive emails when possible, parents are more receptive when/if the time comes when we have to send a not-so-positive email home. This allows us to build a relationship with the parents and hopefully foster some trust in that we care about and like their child so that when we do have to send a bad note home, they are more likely to see us as a partnership instead of a teacher "out to get their child."
ReplyDeleteAs my colleagues also mentioned above, wait time is crucial when it comes to those "tricky" parent emails. When faced with an email containing a confrontational tone I do one of two things: 1) Either I try to give myself some time to think it through before sending a response, trying to put myself in their shoes, or 2) take it to the phone. Sometimes confrontational messages are best met head on through verbal conversation, so that tone, sincerity, and explanation don't get lost in the text.
My general rule of thumb when it comes to any parental contact is to try to offer them some kind of positive note about their child. I either use this as a way to break the ice when I'm about to tell the parents something not-so-great about their child's behavior or performance. Sometimes I end the message with a positive note so they don't walk away feeling that my intentions were solely to tear their child down. It could be something as simple as "I'm enjoying Johnny's energy in class."